A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
