haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
