I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
