You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
