grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
