sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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