Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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