Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
