At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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