so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
