wake up i wanna do it froggy style
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Found the puke drawer
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
