Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
