school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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