Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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