hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
