i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
