I wish I could teleport
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
