dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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