'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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