ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
