I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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