Don't you send me to vm
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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