i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
