A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
