just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
