Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
