He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
