I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
