There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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