found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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