I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
bring money and cleavage
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
