Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Randomize
