question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
