I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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