Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
