I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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