I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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