just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
