My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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