thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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