I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
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