is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
