I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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