ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
