fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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