mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
