you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
In America we eat man semen.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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