i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
