just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Randomize
