I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
