Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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