Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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